Mum, I know.

Mum, I know you were here.

I know you were beautiful.

I know your eyes sparkled

Your smile was bright,

Your laughter infectious.

I know you once held me

And your legs once held you.

Mum, I know you became tired.

I know you grew sad,

I know you were thoughtful

Your eyes were reflective.

I know your legs failed you

I know your body did too.

Mum, I know you were fading

I know you could hear me –

I hope you could hear me

As I told you I loved you

I know I held you.

I wept.

Mum, I know I slept little

I know that I needed you,

I know we were cheated

How could I go on?

I know I had to go on.

Mum, I know I still wonder

I know I still grieve,

I know sometimes I cry.

Mum, I wish you were here

Because I know how you’d love us

And we would love you

I know how we’d laugh

I know we would be friends.

But Mum, I now know you taught me

I know the lesson you left

I know to be thankful

To take nothing for granted

To live to the full

Whilst I am alive.

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Mum was diagnosed with MS when I was three. She died when I was 26, she was 48. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to write openly about her or her illness – maybe because I have never felt that I would do her justice, maybe because I’m not brave enough. But after a reflective weekend spent in the hills with friends sharing memories of a dear friend we have lost recently, my thoughts naturally turned to Mum. This evening I’m feeling grateful and I’m feeling brave – and I’m feeling lucky to be able to fill my life with such wonderful people and experiences.

Thank you for reading.

Polly x

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